


Ashes to Ashes

by thesometimeswarrior



Series: Avatar: The Last Airbender Canon Divergence AUs [5]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Episode: s02e08 The Chase, Ficlet, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Guilt, Stream of Consciousness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-13
Updated: 2017-04-13
Packaged: 2018-10-18 08:44:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10613343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesometimeswarrior/pseuds/thesometimeswarrior
Summary: His impulse, as it often is, is to yell.Selfish old man! Who do you think you are, abandoning me now?!Azula's aim is slightly better.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much to AO3 user SearchingforSerendipity for talking through this idea with me!

His impulse, as it often is, is to yell.

_Selfish old man! Who do you think you are, abandoning me now?!_

But that’s not fair. And, for once, Zuko knows it. _He_ was the one who had said that they should split up, and Uncle had listened, Uncle hadn’t argued, had never argued with any of his reckless schemes or hopeless dreams. Uncle was heartbroken, Zuko knew (even if he pretended not to) that Uncle was heartbroken when he decided to leave…but Uncle hadn’t argued, had given him the ostrich horse, had said _I love you_ with his eyes, but nothing with his mouth…

But he had followed anyway, even though he knew he wasn’t wanted, and when Zuko needed him, he was there, he was right there, he was always right there, when his mother was gone, and when half his face was gone, and when his father had sent him away probably meaning for him to be killed and certainly meaning for him to be alone, and when he was a stupid idiot and believed Azula’s lies about Father wanting them to come home and when he had yelled at Uncle and called him _lazy, mistrustful, shallow, jealous of his brother_ …Uncle had been there, Uncle had just smiled, had gone with him anyway, had said _Family sticks together, right?_

“ARGH!” The memory is too much, and he throws his hands and head against the dusty ground next to Uncle’s unmoving body. Hot tears threaten to burst out of him, and he fights them—he won’t be weak, not now…

As with everything else, he fails. 

He rolls onto his back, closes his eyes as he tries to stifle the sobs. 

He’s an idiot, he thinks, he’s a selfish, stupid idiot. He should have let the Avatar’s friends help…The Water Tribe girl had wanted to, had begged to even, even after the Earthbender—the new one he hadn’t seen before—shook her head and said that it was too late, that there was no heartbeat, the Water Tribe girl had insisted, said something about Spirit Oasis water and special properties…Maybe she could have saved him. But it didn’t matter now, because Zuko had blasted fire at all of them, had chased them away…

Why hadn’t Azula shot him instead?

(And it wouldn’t have mattered because Uncle would have saved him, would have begged the Water Tribe girl to help him even if she hadn’t offered, and she would have, and they both would have lived…)

But, neither of them had been so lucky. Zuko had screwed up. Again. And Uncle had paid for it. And this time, there was nothing he could do to make it right.

He could just stay here, next to Uncle’s body forever, let the dust and wind of this forgotten town cover him up too. 

He considers it for a single moment, but there’s a fire in his gut the likes of which he hasn’t felt since he was first sent to capture the Avatar. _Even if you did capture the Avatar, I’m not so sure it would solve our problems—not now,_ Uncle had said. And he was right. Zuko can’t believe the Avatar ever mattered to him, now that the fire in his gut screams for Azula, for her body limp and still on the ground. She may have lightening, but he has his broadswords, has a dagger from Uncle that reads _Never Give Up Without a Fight_ , has hot, unadulterated rage that will always trump Azula’s cold blood. 

Zuko considers Uncle’s body once more as he rises, longing for something _anything_ to bring with him as a token of his uncle. Uncle looks like the poverty they’ve both begun to inhabit over the past several months, and seems to be carrying nothing. He probably returned all that Zuko had stolen for him… Hesitantly, Zuko rummages through Uncle’s clothes, finally finds a single lotus tile in his breast pocket, and almost laughs when he remembers the pirates, the whole ordeal, _Prince Zuko you’re really going to get a kick out of this—the missing lotus tile was in my sleeve the whole time!_ (He’d chucked the tile in the river, then…Uncle must have replaced it, and never said…What else hadn’t he said? What other conversations could they have had, if only...?) 

It’s a pleasant memory to dwell in, even with the questions it raises, even momentarily, and Zuko tucks the lotus tile into his own breast pocket. He gazes down, for the last time, at the body. Blinks. Sighs. Then, he silently lights fire to his Uncle, giving him back as a gift to Agni as tradition dictates, as Uncle would have wanted it.

(Though Zuko could not say why. It’s not like Agni has ever done anything for either of them.)

He doesn’t stay to watch the body burn. Zuko mounts the ostrich horse, and is gone by the time the deserted town is engulfed in black smoke.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so sorry.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed! Please consider leaving a comment! :)


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